GWAR Officially Endorse 2015 NFL Super Bowl Halftime Show Petition
Earlier this month, we reported on a Change.org petition demanding that GWAR perform at the 2015 NFL Super Bowl halftime show. With nearly 40,000 signatures already attained, GWAR themselves have publicly endorsed the petition, urging human fans to keep the signatures coming.
With the announcement that Bruno Mars would headline the 2014 Super Bowl halftime show, rock fans reacted with a collective groan. Pop music and football don’t often go together brilliantly, especially when you consider the NFL’s target demographic of chest-pounding manly men. A rock act hasn’t led the halftime show since 2010 when the Who performed. Since then, it’s been nonstop pop, save for a brief appearance by Slash during Black Eyed Peas’ set.
“It has long been the joy of GWAR to submit the human race to any number of hideous tortures, and I can’t think of anything more horrible than you having to watch acts like The Black-Eyed Peas and Bruno Mars perform,” says GWAR front-thing Oderus Urungus. “So the temptation to ignore this is great! But then you start thinking about all of the people that who have never experienced GWAR before, and will be forced to do so if we do get the gig, well, at that point my colossal mega-ego kicks in and I am all over it.”
After a long and wet fart, Oderus continued, “I really don’t think we should be limited to playing the halftime show…I am offering GWAR as an actual team that could complete in the NFL. Think of the titanic struggle involved as the NFL submits their best players, hell, we could play against all the teams at once and still emerge victorious. For too long has the NFL ignored the obvious fact that the players should be naked, blind-folded and armed with battle axes, that land mines should litter the field and whalers should hurl harpoons randomly from the stands. GWAR is throwing our entire cosmic weight (and we are fairly hefty) behind this petition, and command all of our followers, their families, and indeed anybody who has ever existed to sign this fucking thing, and in fact for those who have already signed it to create multiple fake email addresses and sign it again!”
Get your asses over to Change.org to sign the GWAR Super Bowl petition. GWAR’s 13th studio album, ‘Battle Maximus’ is now available for your listening pleasure.