GWAR Unveil First Photo of New Guitarist Pustulus Maximus
Nearly a year after the tragic passing of GWAR guitarist Cory ‘Flattus Maximus’ Smoot, everyone’s favorite group of intergalactic metal monsters have released the very first picture of their new guitarist, Pustulus Maximus.
Pustulus is the cosmic cousin of Flattus, and the resemblance is uncanny. Much like the case in many families, you can tell immediately that the two were birthed from the same primordial filth. Pustulus sports elegant armor of fallen space-mammoths, along with a striking blue complexion complemented by disgusting red sores.
The new guitarist offered his very first statement about joining GWAR via the band’s official website. “At this point I have nothing to say to the press, even though I am talking to you. I will let my guitar speak for itself. But let me add that I am blood-sworn to honor the legacy of the great Flattus and indeed the whole Maximus tribe. I didn’t come here to fuck around. HAIL FLATTUS!”
“Naturally we were devastated by the passing of Flattus,” says GWAR front-thing Oderus Urungus. “But we turned that grief into rage and set about the task of finding a new guitar player. The first thing we did was sound the mighty Horn of Hate, and alert all Scumdogs, scattered across the galaxy as they are, as to what had occurred. What people didn’t know about Flattus was that was is part of a huge tribe of brutish warriors, The Maximus Clan. They are at the core of any Scumdog Legion worth its blood! Planet Maximus is just crawling with them!”
Oderus reportedly farted, blowing a hole in the wall, and continued, “Many of the tribe had fought and even played in bands with Flattus, and we began to get messages from across the stars. The Scumdogs were coming! Coming to Earth to lay tracks on our new album, and pay tribute to the mighty Flattus. Soon the War-Barges of Maximus tribe members began to appear in Earth’s orbit…and land outside our great temple! Bubonis, Infectitcus, Fartacus, and many more-all have participated in the creation of the songs that shall be on our new album, which will be out sometime next year. But it was not until the hulking form of Pustulus appeared at the studio door, bloody guitar in hand, that we knew we had our new member. Here was a being that was supposedly born with a guitar in his fist, which of course resulted in the death of his beloved mother, whose body he immediately devoured. If anyone can replace our beloved comrade, it is this foul creature. Because he can f—ing shred.”
Be sure to see Pustulus and the rest of GWAR on the band’s upcoming tour with DevilDriver, Cancer Bats + Legacy of Disorder.