Don Jamieson is a guest contributor to Loudwire. He is the co-host of That Metal Show, which just wrapped up its 14th season on VH1 Classic. You can also catch Jamieson on the stand-up comedy circuit. Keep up with him at his official website or his Twitter page. Please note that Don Jamieson’s opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Loudwire. Check out his list of the Top 10 Songs About Cars:
Rock and Roll and cars go hand in hand like Jagermeister and hangovers.
In full disclosure, I left the following songs off the list: KISS ‘Detroit Rock City’ (was on my Rock Cities list), Foghat ‘Slow Ride’ (not about cars, about f--king), Led Zeppelin ‘Trampled Under Foot’ (also not about cars, also about f--king) and AC/DC ‘Highway to Hell’ (not about cars or f--king, about touring life).
But I do have some honorable mentions like: Krokus ‘Ready To Burn’ (which features a revved up Metal God, Rob Halford on guest vocals), White Zombie ‘Black Sunshine’, ZZ Top ‘I’m Bad, I’m Nationwide’, Queen ‘I’m In Love With My Car’ and Saxon ‘Wheels Of Steel’. And rest assured my mentions are always honorable. My intentions, never.
So gentlemen, start your engines and check out my Top 10 auto anthems sanctioned by both Loudwire and Car & Driver.
"Slick Black Cadillac"Quiet Riot
Album: Metal Health
Four-wheeling words: “You know I got a fully-equipped rock ‘n’ roll machine, at speeds that take me high, high, high…”
I don’t drive a Slick, Black Cadillac but I do drive a Sporty, Grey Focus. Which is great on gas, but makes a terrible song title.
"Jerry Was a Race Car Driver"Primus
Album: Sailing the Seas of Cheese
Four-wheeling words: “Jerry was a racecar driver and he drove so goddamned fast…”
Poor Jerry dies at the end of this song after drinking too many beers and crashing into a telephone pole. Which happens when you take driving lessons from Vince Neil.
"I Can't Drive 55"Sammy Hagar
Four-wheeling words: “Take my license, all that jive, I can’t drive 55…”
Don’t worry Sammy, I can’t drive 55 either. Unless I blow into the little tube the police attached to my steering wheel.
Four-wheeling words: “Road racin’, movin’ on down the line, shifting gears, racing through space and time…”
NYC’s Riot was fast and furious long before that monotone, sexually ambiguous knucklehead Vin Diesel made it popular.
Four-wheeling words: “My whore’s got wings we’re taking off, and I can’t stop this flight of speed today…”
The Scorpions are so cool they have whores with wings. Unlike us unfamous shlubs, who have to settle for regular, wingless whores.
Four-wheeling words: “So gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire…”
Love driving around and screaming this out loud a la James Hetfield. The guy pumping my gas…not so much.
Album: Moving Pictures
Four-wheeling words: “My uncle preserved for me an old machine for fifty-odd years, to keep it as new has been his dearest dream …”
Not only is Rush one the coolest bands of all time, they have the coolest relatives, too. If I wrote a song about my uncle’s old car it would be called Yellow AMC Gremlin.
"Under My Wheels"Alice Cooper
Four-wheeling words: “Telephone is ringing, you’ve got me on the run, I’m driving in my car now, got you under my wheels…”
I’ve run over frogs, turtles, ducks and even deer … but never a girlfriend. Alice Cooper is so cool he can make even a fatal hit-and-run homicide sound totally awesome.
Four-wheeling words: “Reach down between my legs and ease the seat back…”
My favorite part of the video is when the three Diamond David Lee Roth’s appear. Otherwise known as Eddie & Alex’s worst nightmare.
"Highway Star"Deep Purple
Album: Machine Head
Four-wheeling words: “Nobody gonna beat my car gonna break the speed of sound…”
My last girlfriend gave me road head and then changed my spark plugs afterwards. Now that’s a highway star!