Don Jamieson is a guest contributor to Loudwire. He is the co-host of That Metal Show, which recently completed its 14th season on VH1 Classic. You can also catch Jamieson on the stand-up comedy circuit. Keep up with him at his official website or his Twitter page. Please note that Don Jamieson’s opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Loudwire. Check out his picks for the Top 10 Songs About the Dead below:
When I told my editor that I wanted to do a list of the "Top 10 Songs About the Dead," his reply was: "We don’t do that hippie s--t on Loudwire. Take your Grateful Dead business to Bonnaroo!" He was breaking my balls, of course. Then again, he hasn’t returned any of my calls this week.
Obviously what I meant is that I wanted to make a list of songs about dead people, specifically songs that have the word “dead” in them. Haley Joel Osment “sees dead people,” I “hear dead people.”
Hard rock and metal bands write about the dead like Taylor Swift writes about ex-boyfriends. Now if we could only combine the two and my next list could be Top 10 Tunes About Dead Ex-Boyfriends. Until then, here are my favorite 10 compositions for those in decomposition.
"Parade of the Dead"Black Label Society
Album: Order of the Black
Non-living lyrics: “The asylum marches on, the madmen kill, what’s left is gone…”
There are so many parades these days: The Macy’s Day Parade, The Pride Parade, The St. Patrick’s Day Parade so why not a Parade of the Dead? “Mommy these dead people smell.” “No honey that’s Grand Marshal Zakk who hasn’t showered in the last 72 days.”
"Eyes of the Dead"Machine Head
Album: Bloodstone & Diamonds
Non-living lyrics: “For once in this life you’ll see through these eyes, through the eyes of the dead…”
A killer track from the newest Machine Head masterpiece. If you want to know what it’s like to look into the eyes of the dead just listen to this song. Or … get married.
"Staring Through the Eyes of the Dead"Cannibal Corpse
Non-living lyrics: “They say I have died, I still felt alive, I won’t believe their lies…"
Chris Barnes’ death growl is front and center on this Cannibal Corpse smash hit single. Imagine being a guy who’s alive but everybody thinks is dead. Like Abe Vigoda!
"I Want You ... Dead"Wednesday 13
Album: Transylvania 90210: Songs Of Death, Dying & The Dead
Non-living lyrics: “I want you to take my hand and tell me I’m your man and I only want you dead…”
“Alex, I’ll take 'Sex With the Dead' for $500.” “Ok, he’s feeling necro-feeling great, necro-feeling good on this cadaver classic.” “Who is Wednesday 13, Alex?” “Correct!!!”
Non-living lyrics: “Eat his body, drink his blood then we’ll sing our song of love…”
Before he became every goth girl’s favorite pin-up, Pete Steele or Petrus T. Steele as he was called then, fronted the mighty hardcore trio, Carnivore. No. 6 on this list but No. 1 with a pitchfork on Satan’s Top 40.
"Everyone I Love Is Dead"Type O Negative
Non-living lyrics: “Seems three years though maybe four, some drops dead whom I adore…”
It’s the lifelong dilemma: everyone you love eventually dies and all that happiness turns equally to sadness. Everyone dies, it’s a fact. Unless you’re Larry King, apparently.
"Be Quick or Be Dead"Iron Maiden
Non-living lyrics: “You got to watch them, be quick or be dead. Snake eyes in heaven, the thief’s in your head…”
Two of the best decisions Bruce Dickinson has ever made were to No. 1, write this song, and No. 2, not become a pilot for Malaysian Airlines.
"Surprise You're Dead"Faith No More
Non-living lyrics: “Surprise you’re dead! Guess what? It never ends…”
Wow, imagine dying over and over again. A lot like sitting through a Say Yes to the Dress marathon with your girlfriend.
Album: Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying?
Non-living lyrics: “I creep into my own house, I slip into bed. I know if I wake her, I’ll wake up dead…”
“But Dave, if you wake up then you’re not really dead.” (Dave sneers). “Um, never mind dude.”
"I Love the Dead"Alice Cooper
Non-living lyrics: “I love the dead before they’re cold, their bluing flesh for me to hold…”
Alice followed up this cadaverous canción with "Cold Ethyl." Two songs about copulating with corpses. Let’s be thankful The Coop got into show business and not the mortuary business!