Telemarketers and credit card scammers! They call all times of the day, all day long from numbers that can't be reached when you try to call them back. Sometimes they're genuinely trying to sell you something, other times they're pretending you're under a mountain of credit card debt and that they need the precious digits and security code from one of your cards.

This is where I come in. To prevent them from calling you, I try to keep them on the line as long as possible because if they're on the phone with me, they're not on the phone with you. You're welcome. To amuse myself, I began introducing them to one of my favorite metal singers: King Diamond.

The first instinct to annoy telemarketers and credit scammers is to play some abrasive black or death metal, but I'm drawn to the notion of the sudden and startling revelations happening on the other end of my phone calls that a human being is actually capable of achieving such ear-piercing falsetto. If they're not a fan, there's always Andy LaRocque's guitar playing to be admired.

In the video above, you'll see clips from several of my friendly interactions with these tele-prowlers as they play right into my hands. Now having familiarized several callers with some of the King's best like "The Family Ghost," "Abigail," "Dressed in White" and Mercyful Fate's "Gypsy," I'm waiting on a call from Mr. Diamond himself to thank me for opening up new tour markets for him.

Now, enjoy Trolling Telemarketers With King Diamond Songs above!

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